Football season is starting and so are my weekly picks were I make pithy comments about teams that you probably like. So here are a few just over arching themes for the season; The Lions are going to be terrible, the Patriots are going to dump Rex Ryan’s corpse in a commercial park, and Andy Reid is going to find new life and BBQ in Kansas City. In Part one we talk about the NFC and I go against the grain by picking teams that it seems like nobody else are picking, enjoy.
North: Winner… Green Bay.
I will not bury the lead here. Many of the people reading this are from the Windsor area and thus are Detroit Lions fans either by choice or by tradition. The Detroit Lions are more bankrupt than their city, their coach is horrible, their offensive line is in flux, they have one legitimate professional linebacker and their defensive backs thin enough their they will be calling guys from car lots by week 7. They stink and even if they are better than Chicago they are not better than Minnesota or Green Bay. This division is still going to the Packers in the end, even though they have a very tough schedule. They have the best quarterback in the game and as dependable a team as you are going to find in the NFC. Second place will go to The Vikings because they have a solid defence, a very good run blocking offensive line, and Adrian Peterson, good enough for second in the division. Detroit has been covered as a bunch of gutless slobs with a couple stars who make them a fun video game team. Chicago will bring up the rear in a rebuilding year.
South: Winner… Atlanta
The NFC South is a meat grinder of a division that could shake out many different ways depending on injuries. Atlanta has to be the best choice because of their dearth of skill position players and solid line play. New Orleans is going to be pissed off this year because of last year suspensions and mistreatment by the NFL. This could be a dangerous team that could take the division but they also could run into some depth problems. Carolina could be the team that makes a lot of noise and challenges for a playoff spot, they have a very feisty defence, a quarterback who should be taking a leap and a solid running game. The Tampa Bay Bucs have gotten a lot of run in the past few weeks and I don’t get it. Josh Freeman is shrug worthy, Doug Martin is a monster and their defence is solid but I just don’t see them keeping up with the Falcons and Panthers.
East: Winner… Dallas
If there is one team in the NFL who comes out this season plays like their are a new team, and comes out of nowhere to take their division while at the same time blowing it horribly in the playoffs because they are a soulless franchise with terrible fans it is the Dallas Cowboys. They have a great defence, a solid running game and a super consistent quarterback*. The Philadelphia Eagles will rip off a bunch of wins early until Mike Vick goes down with a concussion and they will fall apart. The Giants will be bad but they will gut out 7 or 8 wins because they are built properly and they have Eli. The Washington Redskins will suffer from RG3 going down early with a serious knee injury because his coach is the worst human being in the history of the NFL** and this is what Mike Shannahan deserves.
West: Winner… Seattle
This is another meat grinder division, even the bad teams would do well in some of the weaker divisions. I am choosing Seattle to take this division because I think San Fran will hit a few bumps during this season. If all things were equal San Fran is the best team in this division, I just think you need to look at how thin the 49er offence could be with a few injuries. The St Louis Rams could be really dangerous this year, not dangerous to take a playoff spot but they will take some games from good teams, Jeff Fisher is a good coach and their defence is really solid. The Arizona Cardinals are much like the Rams. Not a contender but they will beat a couple good teams because finally Larry Fitzgerald finally has a QB who can throw the ball. They also have The Honey Badger who will be at least fun to make pot jokes about.
*Tony Romo is consistant if you look at his statistics. He also consistently makes bonehead plays that cost his team in big games.
**OJ Simpson, Rae Curruth and Aaron Hernandez not withstanding.