In 2012 the world was supposed to end and because of that I have not prepared any overarching proclamations about the state of popular culture. It was a good year I guess, zombies got less boring, Regina Spektor released one of he better albums and Liam Neeson punched more Albanians in the throat than you can shake a stick at. But was 2012 a landmark year? Sure, why not.*
For my lists I will randomly choose a playing card and review each thing using the amount of words the card denotes. e.g. The movie is Avatar and the card is an Eight….Pocahontas In Space? Fool Me Twice, Jim Cameron.
Film: I have yet to see some of the “awards contenders” so this could be amended but I feel like my five best for 2012 are all better than Academy Award winner Crash**. And the card is a Jack(10 words)
1.Looper: Wonderful Science Fiction, JGL and Willis a Great Pair. Blunderbuss!
2.Moonrise Kingdom: The most Wes Anderson-y movie, Wes Anderson made to date.
3.The Master: Hoffman and Phoenix wax Scientology. PT Anderson is the best.
4.The Grey: It doesn’t matter if this movie is good. Wolf Fight!
5. The Dark Knight Rises: Epic beyond any expectation, Bane’s voice is fun to imitate.
Podcasts: Yup I am reviewing podcasts, and in 2012 we begin to see them go mainstream. Marc Maron’s WTF gets a TV show. Scott Aukerman’s Comedy Bang Bang gets a show. Pete Holmes continues to injury my hearing with his laugh. The card is a 6.
1.Walking The Room: Dave, Greg, Closet, Laugh Until Cry.
2.In Our Time With Melvyn Bragg: Filling my head with more information.
3. The Smartest Man In The World w/ Greg Proops: Get half the references, laugh aloud.
4. Harmontown: Don’t ask black people about time-travel.
5. The Longshot Podcast: Everyone Is Mean To Jamie, agreed.
Television: This year was a pretty good year for Television so good in fact I am going to do a top ten list. That is right readers you’re going to have to read 10 of these sentance fragment reviews. And I draw and 8.
1. Louie: Funny, heartbreaking, Parker Posey? swoon. David Lynch rules!
2. Breaking Bad: Wow, how will this end? Probabaly not well.
3. Luck: Shame it was only one season. Ouch HBO.
4. Madmen: Roger Sterling on acid, Don Draper domesticated, Women!
5. Boardwalk Empire: Season 3, best by far, Richard Harrow FTW.
6. The Walking Dead: Things actually happen this season, crazy concept eh?
7. Veep: One of the funniest things this year. Fructose.
8. Archer: Makes Family Guy look like Garfield. Pam Rules!
9. Community: This is the darkest timeline, Dan Harmon fired.
10. Parks and Rec: Knope for towncouncil, keeps her street cred. WATCH!
So there you have it. A series of lists with some of the least helpful reviews you will ever not laugh at. Everyone have a happy and safe New Years celebration, and I wish you all the best for 2013.
*How’s that for excitement.
**I am referring to Paul Haggis’ schlocky movie about racism and not David Cronenberg’s pyscho-sexual thriller about having sex after car crashes.
***Girls, Game of Thrones, Bob’s Burgers, Justified