Braised Blue Mail Bag: First Edition

So I receive emails and comments that I have chosen not to make public either because I didn’t want to give credit to my readers for their great ideas or I needed time to absorb and expound on the comments. I have compiled these emails and comments so that I could one day have a series of mail bag type pieces where I can answer questions, dismiss criticism and make snarky comments.

Letter Number 1:

Hello Braised Blue,

I am a big fan of the blog and I really enjoy your food articles. You seem to always make fun of the wines I like in your wine writing and I think it’s a bit snobbish to write off low priced wine. Sometimes that’s all I can afford.

Regards,

MN

Well M&N, I am really happy that you are enjoying the blog and you lack of spelling and grammatical errors is heartening to say the least. I am sorry that I happen to belittle the wines that you like. May I suggest drinking things that don’t suck? I am kidding, but seriously I want you to go buy Gabbiano Chianti, it’s about 12 bucks it’s a super approachable Italian wine that over delivers. The problem with wines under $10 is that they never over deliver. Step up a few bucks and you can find some gems that drink like $20 wines.

Cheers,

BB

Letter Number 2:

Why are you so mean to your comenters? It’s totally unecesary since you also say you value your readers.

Troy

Troy my boy,

Your lack of formality may be construed as endearing but my terse tone is not only with my readers. It’s with everyone, I have a heart of gold surrounded by a wall of snark. Please accept my sincerest apologizes and those red lines under your words mean you have spelled those words incorrectly.

Warmest Regards

BB

Letter Number 3:

I am Armenian, and I do not appreciate the jokes you make about my people and our eyebrows. Could you at the very least do an article celebrating Armenian Cuisine.

Armen Tamzarian 

Armen,

As someone who derives half of his genetic heritage from the same south eastern european region I feel as though I know a few things about body hair and unruly eyebrows. I am currently working on a design for a full body hair net so that all of us can work in the kitchen without fear of getting hair in our yoghurt. If you know any investors who are interested please email me. Also I love Atom Egoyan, Jack Kevorkian and Geoffery Zakarian so take that for what it’s worth.

Though furry foreheads I salute you and your people.

BB

Letter Number 4.

I thought this was supposed to be a food blog. If you’re going to do TV Reviews, I want an According To Jim critique done.

Karl Knox, Chigago Il,

Karl,

Your wish is my command. Jim Belushi is the least funny person in the history of television, film, and the spoken word. According To Jim isn’t funny and I can give you a rundown of every episode ever right now. Jim is a dick to his wife who is much too hot for him. Jim’s friend who happens to be more fat than Jim purely to make you believe that deserves a super hot wife isn’t the brightest lightbulb in the shed, but by the end of the episode offers sage advice to fix Jim’s mistakes. There are also children who are involved all of which have more comedic chops than Jim Belushi. And now through recorded history there is thousands of hours of terrible TV perpetrated by Jim Belushi which erases all of the cutting edge amazing comedy his brother did. Thanks for the 182 episodes of you taking a big stupid dump on the heads of television watchers everywhere.

Is that what you were looking for Karl?

BB

Letter Number 5:

Braised Blue,

Thanks so much for talking about your battle with depression and anxiety. I know that it takes so much to open up about these very personal issues in such a public forum. You are very brave and I hope that you continue to make mental health a priority on your blog.

Thank you,

anonymous.

Ok, I am not sure if this is my mom or my shrink.

 

Anyways, please continue to write in, and read the blog.